“I have decided to take full advantage of my nickname, Matty Ice,” said Ryan, “and become a rapper.”
Matty Ice will skip this year's Pro Bowl in order to record his first single “Matty Ice, Ice Baby: I'm Under Pressure."
“I was so glad when we finally got knocked out of the playoffs,” said Ryan. “I was planning on getting in the studio after the Seattle game, but my team actually won a playoff game. I mean who saw that coming?”
“Just when the NFL thought its all-star game couldn't become any more of a joke,” commented the only NFL fan who was excited to watch the Pro Bowl, “an NFC quarterback drops out to drop his first single. Perfect. There goes my Sunday.”
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell offered a potential solution for fans frustrated with the Pro Bowl. “Maybe we should get Ryan to do the Pro Bowl halftime show,” said Goodell. “People would watch it then, right? Or ... maybe we'll change the whole thing to an NFL Stars Talent Show! Oh, Roger, you've outdone yourself this time.”
Ryan's inspiration comes from his favorite rap artist, Vanilla Ice, and his hit songs “Ice, Ice Baby” and “Ninja Rap” from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.
“Mr. Ice has been a huge influence on my musical endeavors,” said Ryan. “He and Prime Time are the biggest reasons I'm looking to get into the rap game.”
NFL Hall-of-Famer Deion “Prime Time” Sanders put out an album while he was a member of the Falcons and Atlanta Braves in the early 1990s that included the single “Must Be the Money.”
Some who have heard Ryan's early demo say that the beat sounds identical to Vanilla Ice's song, but he was quick to clear up any confusion.
“No, no,” said Ryan. “His goes 'ding, ding, ding, dinga, ding, ding,' and mine goes 'ding, ding, ding, DINGa, ding, ding.' They're totally different.”
Matty Ice said that his track heavily samples Queen's “Under Pressure” and will feature Clay Matthews from the Green Bay Packers. Ryan has given Alexander the Great Sports Blog exclusive rights to release the song before his first album Don't Play Me hits iTunes this summer.
At press time, there was no conclusion on when Goodell plans to replace the NFL Pro Bowl with the proposed NFL Stars Talent Show.